From my darkest hour 4 years ago

Here's what's up:

Here is a post from a blog I started while working in corporate America. I love looking back, because this is sooo how i felt, and I am sooo not there now.

I would eventually get fired anyway, but here's what I thought, a week in, 4 years ago:

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(reposted from Friday, January 13, 2006)

"Come go with me"

This is my anon posting spot, to journal my first foray into corporate America on.

I thought it important to keep this log, for my own sake, more than posterity.

I am a thirty-something, AA male, who, after struggling to get my masters degree, and after years in the world of retail and labor, have earned my first salaried post. I am fantastically happy, I enjoy my co-workers, and I am ecstatic to be working with this dynamic organization, which is poised to do great things.

Today, however, I have hit my first learning-moment.

In academia, and education in general, we often discuss the teaching-moment, a point in time where the planets align, and your student "gets it."

Today, my very bubbly, flower-power boss ever-so gently, yet, unmistakably firmly instructed me to "chill out."

I am the textbook "go-getter." I like 'doing,' and I don't have a lot of patience with patience.

My boss calls it "energy." I say it's "drive."

I want to succeed, and I want to succeed at all tasks before me.

Getting back to today, I learned that in corporate America, that burning desire to achieve can quite easily be understood as the whinny-whirl of the bulldozer, and a callous honk to "get out of my way."

In no uncertain terms (though, again, very politely), I was told that I have offended too many people to mention, and that what I need to do is button up, and just "listen."

Now, I don't necessarily disagree. I mean, I am not the most patient fellow in the world. I want the morning brief, then I want to plan the strategy to win the war.

Reality is--that's not reality. Or at least, that's not how reality works. Reality has meetings, gathers input, has more meetings, then decides to take a quorum on when the next level of meetings begins. Then, two years later, if you are lucky, you've made a decision.

I am torn on that truth.

On the one hand, it is kind of like democracy. The best thing Democracy, is that when properly executed, "we all have a voice." The worst thing about Democracy, is that the closer it gets to ideal the further it gets from efficient.

Just like Democracy, the organization that I am newly a member of is very good at making high-minded ideals work, and, dammit, that is exciting to me! The bad news is, what is most exciting, the possibility of helping to manifest an ideal into a reality, is so inspiring, that I have a real hard time being patient enough for it to work.

Yin, and, alas, yang.

So, what to do?

Let me tell you.

I smile during my hand slap. I agonizingly peel back my "I know this" armor, I exhale, and I listen.

Not because I am any less enthused.

But because I really don't want to get fired.

The Plan - Get Up!

Here's what's up:

Basically, with my new found freedom, I am just kinda slipping into my creative shoes again.

I had been trying to make Midwest Avengers my sole creative endeavor and I think everyone suffered because of it.

I can be seriously passive aggressive.

Anyhoo, now I'm 'single', and it is all about A. Dubs again, and I gotta catch up with the times.

I am probably gonna use this to write through my creative struggles, use Twitter for randomness, and Facebook for staying in touch with my peeps.

YouTube, Myspace, and my music specific Myspace become places to track those aspects of me, and photographs I guess could be at any and all of those until I get my site back up.

It may also become a source for one of my other passions, observing and writing about technology, media, entertainment & society, and how all of those get to be nuggets of pop culture and our American or hyphenated American identity.

I guess it could be anything, really, but it should (since I know me) slowly but surely clump into fairly consistent categories that approximate if not match those listed above.

Cheers!

Starting to Breath Easy

Here's what's up:

I made initial changes to my YouTube page, and will fine tune the changes soon.

Good to see the Earthworms (EWMS) connection, they are part of the 2nd Wave STL Massive that are patiently and decidedly taking over The Still....

Hollered at Steve S. from my VV days, and was great talkin' to him about politics and music history.

Tweaking the Tweeter-Me, connecting with the world hardcore, and loving my life.

A. DUbs

YouTube Page Still Sucks

Whew! Finally found the main photo I wanted to use on YouTube.

Time to salvage that page!

--
"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action." -- Frank Tibolt

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." -- Walter Bagehot

Today was a good day

I hooked up with my Boy Cool Lyn and met local legend Tossin' Ted at the spot.

We've got a couple of projects in the work--many more between our whole crew--and we went to chat with THE man.

I left feeling affirmed about my quest to get my other project to write a plan.

I knew I wasn't crazy.

Good day.

--
"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action." -- Frank Tibolt

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." -- Walter Bagehot

Let's try this again...

Here's what's up:

I am trying this blog thing again. We'll see what happens...